Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Even my vagina gasped.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
