marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
