awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
