yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
