Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
