Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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