when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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