But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
