Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
she peed on how many people?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize