sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
