I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
