two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
