she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
