Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
it's great music for shaving your balls
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Your cock deserves a montage
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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