I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
