WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
