just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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