When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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