Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
