I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
