i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize