You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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