I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
