How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
