My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
