I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
