I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It was like giving head to a cactus.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
