I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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