I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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