HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
