we're blogging at a bar
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
