oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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