thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
