You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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