you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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