I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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