Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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