Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
