well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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