Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
