you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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