Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
