goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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