No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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