My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
