she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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