When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
