I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
