So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize