Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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