I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
