just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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