the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I stole a fireplace last night.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
