Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
