But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
