He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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